Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things on my agenda today.I first went over to my sister's house to do my laundry.It took a few hours and after it was finished,I bagged it all and headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the post office to mail back a book that was sent to my mom.After doing that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling daily with BPD,it's symptoms and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.While that may be so,I still continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I never have to worry about any of this getting out of control with God and his son Christ Jesus at the wheel leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation this morning.I really had the urge to grab my genitals and masturbate the erection away,but chose to fight this urge and resist giving into it.While fighting the urge,I noticed that I had to go to the bathroom and got up to walk to the bathroom and use it.While on the way there,the erection softened and was fully soft when I reached the bathroom and after using it,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have were really coming at me from both sides.I really had to fight these urges as each time that I resist any urges,the urges come back stronger every time and I have to keep up in prayer to God whenever the urges come as they did come throughout the day.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.But again,I am not fighting this war alone as I have God and his son Jesus Christ leading the way and fighting alongside me.Still,I am again asking for prayers and words of encouragement from everyone who follows and reads my blog regularly.Please continue in prayers for me as I am continuing to go through this struggle and the complex emotional pattern that I am still working to overcome as a result of my mother's passing in September.Please also leave words of encouragement in the comments section as they help in keeping me going in this fight,and make me more determined to overcome SSA.I see that many people visit,but never leave any comments in the form of words of encouragement or anything positive for me.Please don't be shy when checking out my blog.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me and again,I also ask that you continue in prayers for me as I continue to fight this SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do to help me in this fight.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my case worker.Aside from that,I have made no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ