Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I hurriedly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I first had to see a gastrointestinal doctor for a problem that I have had while trying to swallow food.I headed over to there after my work on my PC was done.
The meeting with the doctor went well and he prepared me for tests to check me out.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed over to a gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still on my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be as I go from day to day or from minute/moment to minute/moment.It is never ending and at times,I never know whether I am coming or going.I also have schizophrenic and that really makes my struggle with BPD even more difficult.Aside from the emotional ups and downs,I also have to put with hallucinatory sounds and other things that other people,other than I,can't hear,such as voices,footsteps and other things.Sometimes,they want me to do the opposite of what I want to do.By this,I mean that in my struggles with SSA,the voices try to get me to do things,such as touching myself inappropriately,which does proceed to manipulating my genitals to get them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though at times,ejaculation does occur.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of letting God and Christ both take the lead and letting them help me in keeping me calm and serene.It shows that nobody can go it alone in any struggle as God has to be a part of the struggle as humans can do nothing alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was again awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.This time,it was overwhelming that the only way that I could get through this was with prayer and I prayed hard until the erection softened and I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day as the temptations kept coming at me.I get tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have by either masturbating or by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I simply kept throwing every temptation on God and asked him in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations when they came at me.After praying,I always felt better as the temptations were reduced to nil each time.I kept it up all day so I wouldn't sin or do anything that would displease God in any way,shape or form.I kept it up and the good feelings would come.I am also still continuing to ask for prayers by those who follow and read my blog posts and also,for some positive and encouraging words in the comments section.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going.I see that quite a few people visit my blog,but leave no comments of encouragement in the comments section.I would appreciate an encouraging word or two.Please continue in prayers for me and also,leave an encouraging word or two.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a Men's Network meeting that I will be attending.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned,but I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ