Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work,but since it was cold and snowy today,I didn't go out too much today.I chose to stay home for much of the day and decided to simply relax and pop a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to put up with schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I still continue to attend my therapy sessions and I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply put this in God's hands and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through and they both help in sustaining me.It is wonderful that I don't have to suffer alone and that both God and Christ are there.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they provide as they give power beyond what any human therapy can offer.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am going to be very blunt and honest here in regards to where I am at with this.I gave into temptation this morning when I,while sitting in a chair shortly after getting up,manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,only to proceed to masturbation and after I did that,I felt really miserable afterwards.After washing my hands,I asked God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to forgive me for falling short and I also begged for God to give me his undeserved mercy for this fall as I have been falling quite a bit lately.I felt better after the prayer as I truly believed that God has forgiven me.I have to continue to try and keep up in prayer to God whenever any type of temptation starts to try and envelope me.I have to try and keep up and asking God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist all these terrible temptations.I can't just keep falling all the time whenever these temptations come around.I have to try and keep working and staying in touch with both God and his son Christ Jesus whenever these terrible temptations come around.I am again asking those who continually follow my blog and read the posts that I write here to please continue in keeping up prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in this journey to overcome this terrible SSA.I may have fallen today,but I am still going to continue in my journey and I refuse to surrender to these unnatural desires that I have.I willfully refuse to give Satan what he wants as he wants me to give up and surrender to these unnatural desires that I have,but again,I willfully refuse to give him what he wants.Again,please keep up in prayers for me and also encouraging words in the comments section.I will also keep up in prayer to God and his son Christ Jesus as well.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ