Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Since the weather has improved and it is a little warmer,I headed out to a local auto outlet to get the tire for my passenger side rear wheel replaced.This took only a few minutes and after paying for the work,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that were needed and after paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed for a while and watched TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to do some recommended Holy Bible as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It is bad enough that I struggle with the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,but I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of Schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this struggle and that is great as I can openly talk about this particular struggle with God in his son Christ Jesus name and not be ashamed of doing so.Thanks in advance to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again awakened out of a deep sleep in the wee early morning hours by yet another throbbing erection and my urge to masturbate it away was really strong.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge to masturbate and also,as a result of my still being tired and sleepy,sexual images of men were starting to cloud my mind.I simply got up out of bed and started to walk towards the bathroom.As I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and the sexual images of men clouding my mind also started to disappear.After using the bathroom,which was when the erection that I had softened,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting with sexual images of men clouding my mind and yes,I had the urge to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping and/or to proceed to masturbating once orgasm has been reached.The lustful and sexual images of other men were what was causing that urge and I really had to pray to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ really hard to ask for strength to fight and resist these urges and also to have these sexual images of men cleared out of it as I didn't want to sin/fall short and displease God by doing so.With what I know now about Homosexuality/SSA,Satan,the Devil is using everything in his power to get me to against God's perfect law and indulge in all the sinful sexual activity that the so called "Gay" lifestyle offers,but I willfully refuse to let Satan have his way with me.I turn over all of these temptations to God and ask him in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me strength to fight and resit all of these urges and I prayed real hard as well.After praying all of those times,I really felt better and much stronger as I knew that God heard me and helped me.I am now going to work on making that a habit whenever these urges come around to try and get me to indulge in everything that the unnatural desires that I have that are connected to SSA come at me.I am also asking again that all of you who follow and read my blog posts to continue in prayer for me as I am going through all of this and again,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ