Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit quickly as I awaited my ride to church with one of the men that I worship with.We also had a pleasant talk while going there and it was great.The minute that we arrived at church,we both attended the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.We are starting to prepare for the Lenten season and I hope that it's a wonderful season at that.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,my ride giver and I left and he dropped me off at home.We also had another pleasant conversation on the way as well.
After I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit and I relaxed.I called my ex brother in-law to come over and look at the stove to see what could be wrong with the oven and he couldn't fix it,but he tried.After he left,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and took it easy for the rest of the day.I simply listened to some of my music and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.For me,going to church every Sunday makes the day eventful and it never changes for me as it always stays the same.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still on my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be like at all.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I have nothing to worry about with God and his son Christ Jesus leading the way and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do to help me and also,for what they provide as they provide powers and means way beyond what any human therapy can provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate twice in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by throbbing erections at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours.With the first one,I sat up in bed and started to get out of bed and that softened the erection as I was getting up.With the second one,it didn't last very long as I had to get up anyway and as I headed from my room into another room,the erection softened and I also had to use the bathroom as I continued to walk elsewhere in the house.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies with and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping alongside the fantasies and lusting,which is when I usually fall when they come around.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I asked for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations and I prayed really hard because I didn't want to sin nor displease God in any way,shape or form.After praying each time,I felt better as the temptations were reduced to nil.I knew that God and his son Christ Jesus were there to help me and they did give me the strength as I felt much stronger whenever I finished praying.It was wonderful to know that God and Christ Jesus are there to help out and lead the way for me.While I am keeping up in prayer myself,I am also asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my blog posts to continue praying for me as I am going through this complex emotional time.Though it has been nearly six months since my mother passed way,I am still feeling the effects of her death and her absence because I lived with my mother from the day we moved into the house,which I am still living in and grew up in,until the day that she passed away in the house.I am still feeling the absence of hers and I do miss having her around.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please share an encouraging word or two in the comments section,as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA and the unnatural sexual desires that are connected with it.It is just that my blog gets many visitors,but they usually don't leave any comments.If you visit,please don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It would really make my day to read something encouraging that somebody left for me as a comment.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do or provide.
Tomorrow,if the weather pattern hold up and we get what is planned to come,which is warmer weather and some rain to help melt the snowy mess that we have currently,I am hoping to go to a local auto place to get my tire replaced and also,to withdraw some money to help pay some bills that need to be paid.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ