Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed over to a gas station to get a little bit of gas and after that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions can be up and good one day or one minute/moment or down the next day or minute/moment.It's bad enough that I have to go through this,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.With this,I also have to put up with hearing things that nobody else can hear,such as footsteps,voices calling my name and others sorts of things.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks in advance to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I tosses and turned for a while,but it wouldn't soften.I got up to walk and as I did,the erection softened and when it was fully soft,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted to indulge in fantasies and lusting that are connected with SSA and also to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though at times ejaculation does occur and also at times,I finish with masturbating.I kept up in prayer to God all through the day and I prayed to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I felt better as the temptation was reduced to nil and I could go on with the rest of the day,but the urges did come back and at times,they came back with a vengeance and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I didn't want to sin nor displease God in any way,shape or form.I kept it up as I didn't want to act out on these unnatural desires that I have as acting out on them will never give me what I want.I am asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to keep up in prayer for me and also to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Please do both of these things for me as I am so much in desperate need for these things.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a meeting with my case worker and I am also planning to attend the evening's church service as Ash Wednesday is tomorrow.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ