Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,though it has been pretty rough here and there.I had a pretty good day today,
Today,I showered after waking up in the mid morning and after breakfast and coffee,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda.I first went to my sister's house to pick up my laundry and after bagging it,I headed for home to drop it off and headed to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up another thing that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,the road has been pretty rough.The constant daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride can be a chore.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,although it also varies by the minute/moment in the same day at times.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with hearing things,such as footsteps,voices calling my name,including various other noises and there is usually nobody around when I look to see who it might be.It can get pretty monotonous at times and also,I at times wish that I didn't have to go through or struggle with any of these things.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply continue talking about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better as they are there leading the way and letting me know,in their own way,I have nothing to worry about.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came again in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection and this time,the temptation was more overwhelming than yesterday.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.At the same time,I sensed that I had to use the bathroom.I got out of bed and I headed for there and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection started to soften and when I was finished in the bathroom,the erection had fully softened and I felt better.I simply went back to bed and back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I was once again tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and I had to really fight to resist them all.Each and every time that I don't give into any temptation,the temptations get stronger and more overwhelming and I really have to continuously fight to resist them all.It gets even more difficult each time.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all through the day and I asked God for strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me.I prayed and prayed real hard and each time that I prayed,I felt better and stronger as the temptations were reduced to nil each time.It also showed me that God and Christ were there each time and they heard me.They gave me the strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.While I am going to continue keeping up in prayer,I am also again asking that y'all who follow my blog and read my posts to also continue in prayer for me and also to leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog does get visitors,but they usually don't leave a comment or two for me as a means of helping me keep going in this fight against this terrible SSA.Don't be shy.If you visit my blog,don't be afraid to leave an encouraging word or two for me.I will approve the comments if they are positive and encouraging to me when it comes to fighting SSA and resisting all of the terrible temptations associated with it.It can be an upbuilding comment with a scripture of two or simply something to encourage me to continue in this fight unabated.Also,please continue in prayer for me as well.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ