Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as as I had several things planned.
I first went to my Thursday morning spirituality group and it was a wonderful discussion.After the group was over,the agency provided a free pizza lunch and after I ate that,I headed straight home.
When I gt home,I dropped my bible off at home,packed away some money that I needed to pay a bill that I needed to send out and I left the house again to go to my therapist's office.
The session with my therapist went great and after that was over,I headed over to the post office to mail out an important bill that needed to be paid and after that,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after visiting with him for a few minutes,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.I also made several phone calls that I had to make and after that,I continued taking it easy.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I finished my personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle with BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment.They vary from being up and feeling good and/or down and not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same times and I hear things that others don't hear,such as footsteps,a voice calling my name and when I turn around,there is nobody there.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggles of BPD/Schizophrenia seemingly get way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I feel that it is getting too much and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do to help me get through this particular struggle.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming temptation.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I got up and went there and as I was heading for there,the erection softened and when I was finished using the bathroom.my genitals were fully softened and I went right back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting,fantasies and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.Yes,sexual images of men started to creep up into my mind.I prayed real hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I asked for strength to help me fight and resist these temptations and after I was finished praying each time,I felt better and stronger as I truly believed and felt that God and his son Christ Jesus heard me and they helped me fight and resist each temptation that came at me.These temptations can come around when least expected and I have to be ready when they do come.I am also again asking for prayers from everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts and also,I am again asking that you leave a positive encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Please continue in prayer for me and also,don't be shy and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your positive encouragement.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ