Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I did my personal PC work and I also had a light lunch before finally getting around to doing what I had to do.
I packed all of my laundry in a bag so I could do all of my laundry at my sister's house.Before heading there,I stopped at a local bargain outlet store to pick up a few things.After that,I headed straight for my sister's house to get my laundry done,which took about an hour to do.After it was finished washing,I put all of the clean,but wet,clothes in the dryer and headed back home.Before that,I headed over to the drug store to pick up a couple of prescriptions.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a sweatsuit and relaxed for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church on Sunday morning's always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still having to deal and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.Today,my emotions are pretty positive at the moment,but that can change as the day progresses,though I hope that it doesn't.It can also change the next day,though,again,I hope that it doesn't.I simply can't anticipate how my moods and/or emotions will be.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I usually feel a tad better after praying about this particular struggle.It also shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being there and for everything that they do in helping me get through this particular struggle.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.This was another overwhelming urge and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was a really strong one.I sat up for a while and kept up fighting the urge as this urge was really strong.It took a few minutes,but the erection did slowly soften.I went back to sleep after my genitals were fully soft.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to act out by many means throughout the day and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as they came at me from all sides.The temptations vary by the day and/or by the minute.I get tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though ejaculation does happen at times when I do that.At times,I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I willfully choose to stay home when that particular temptation comes around,as acting out in that way will never give me what I want and need.That will only give me a temporary fix,but when it's over,the same old negative vibes come back and I am back where I was before.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I kept asking for strength to fight and resist all of those temptations that came at me and I felt much better after praying as I knew that God and Christ both heard me and were there to give me that strength.While I am still keeping up in prayer,I am also asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to keep up in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section. It is because both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Again,please continue in prayer for me and also,leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,since it is a holiday,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ