Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.I also proceeded with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today.It was basically a quite day.The only thing that I did was that I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk and after paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk in the fridge and I sat down for a while and I took it easy.I also popped a DVD into the DVD player while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with BPD,it's symptoms and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be as I go through the day as at times,my moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the minute/moment,but usually it's a day to day thing.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continue to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply put this in God's hands and ask him for help in his son Christ Jesus' name and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone here and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up for a while and proceeded to get out of bed,which made the erection slowly start to soften.Though it was slow going,my genitals returned to their fully soft state and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation when sexual images of men clouded my mind.These sexual images of men came through my mind when I had gotten up and sat down as I was still in a tired and drowsy state.I actually started manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to these images and that motivated me to lust and fantasize with these images,but I managed to stop myself before ejaculation could occur.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I felt better after that as I truly believed that I was forgiven.Throughout the day,I was tempted many times to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and the urge to act out by lusting and fantasies can get very overwhelming.I kept up in prayer to God all through the day as these temptations started coming.I kept asking for God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges and after praying each time,I felt better and much stronger.Day after day,I am learning that the SSA struggle is a very difficult one indeed.The point is that I have to continue drawing closer to God and keep praying to him in his son Christ Jesus' name to get me through these terrible temptations and to keep giving me the strength to fight and resist these urges as they get stronger with each resistance.I am also again asking that those who follow my blog to continue praying for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I ask these things because both your prayers and your encouragement help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA and continue in healing journey from the unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to my followers for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I decide to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ