Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit real quickly and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.I was also looking forward to that as I was going to do another reading from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation up on the podium.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After the service was over,I received even more positive accolades from my reading.One worshiper said that I brought it to life when I was reading and another said that I had read from my heart and put everything that I had into it.Others said that they also enjoyed my reading,including the pastor.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into casual clothes.After I had a light lunch,I called my brother in law to come over and fix the toilet,because the handle disconnected from the flushing mechanism and after he left when he fixed it,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I decided to take a drive around and see how a few people that I knew were doing.After doing that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.For me,going to church in the morning on Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward,I am still,on a one day at time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary from days or minute/moment within the same day.Aside from BPD,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ about this particular struggle and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a tad better knowing that God and Christ Jesus are leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I tossed and turned,but it only made the erection throb more violently.I sat up and for a while,it continued to throb,but I chose to get up and walk and while I did,the erection started to slowly soften and after using the bathroom,I went back to sleep as my genitals were now fully and completely softened.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting throughout the day.I also was tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting the near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,which the fantasies and lusting make me do when they come around.I kept up in prayer constantly throughout the day and kept asking for God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.Each and every time that I fight and resist each temptation,they keep coming back stronger than the last time.The thing is that while I do have these unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA,I willfully refuse to let them define who I am nor let them dictate to me how I will be or act.I keep praying and praying and I always feel stronger after doing so.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that those of you who follow my blog to continue praying for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is because your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my healing journey from the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ