Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving unabated.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and simply proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda.I first went to the local K-Mart to pick up a few things and after paying for them,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few more things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day as the some of the weather pattern that we've had for the past few days has continued.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving unabated,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be as I go through each day,or at times,each minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply bring this to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I ask them both to get me through and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though it didn't last long.I sat up and proceeded to walk and the erection softened.After my genitals were fully softened,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting with sexual images of men and they were always clouding my mind and the temptation to manipulate my genitals to these things was also coming on strong.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day and I asked for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that were coming at me from all sides.I kept up in prayer as I didn't want to sin nor displease God in any way,shape or form.I want to do the right thing,but the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA want me to do the opposite.I had to stay in prayer all day as the temptations kept coming around as I didn't want to sin nor fall short of God's perfect law.Aside from the temptations to indulge in lusting,fantasies and to manipulate my genitals to get them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to these images,I also still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,and admittedly,I do know men out there who indulge in this sort of thing who will let me indulge with them,but when this particular temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home instead of feeding that particular temptation when it comes around.Though I have been keeping up in prayer,I am also again asking that you continue keeping up in prayer for me as I am going through all of this and also,please say an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging comment or two for me as both your prayers and your encouraging comments help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA and to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance for both your prayers and your encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.AS for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ