Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and as usual,I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.I headed over there when the time came to go.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after I was finished eating,I headed for a gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day.or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day and it can get pretty tiresome dealing with this.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle and I talk to God about in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in keeping me calm,serene and sustained.It shows that they are there to aid and guide me along and that is great.It also makes me feel a tad better knowing that they are in control and leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I turned to the right side in bed and the erection softened,though it was a little slow in softening.When it was fully soft,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting with other men and also,to manipulate my genitals alongside those lustful and sexual images of men.Each and every time I resist temptations of any kind,they keep coming back stronger and stronger.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of Jesus Christ all day whenever these terrible temptations came at me.I asked God in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges and I felt better after praying.I felt much stronger and much more at ease.I knew that God heard me and that was great.I am not alone in my struggle and that is wonderful.While I have been doing that,I am also continuing to ask for prayers by all of you who follow my blog and read the posts.I also ask that you leave a positive word of encouragement in the comments section as well.My blog gets many visitors,but comments of any kind are rare.The comments can be in the form of encouragement and/or a verse/scripture from the Holy Bible or both.Don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two.I ask these things because both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome SSA and to continue my journey to heal from the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ