Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship after the service,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up a prescription and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a pair of lounge pants.After that,I had a light lunch.After lunch,I did my personal PC work and when that was done,I relaxed and watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles,alongside my SSA struggles,even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle and I talk to my Heavenly Father about it and I leave nothing out.I tell him what is wrong and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through and they both help help in keeping me sustained and at a steady and level and level plain.This shows me that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to head for the bathroom as i had to use it.As I headed for there,the erection softened and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and lusting after other men as sexual images of men were trying to cloud my mind.I also had the urge to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping alongside these temptations.I had to really pray hard to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to fight and resist all of these urges to act out with the temptations to indulge in the same sex sexual fantasies and the lusting.I prayed hard for strength to fight and resist all of these urges and after each prayer,I felt better as I knew that my Heavenly Father heard me and he gave me what I had asked for.While I have been doing this,I am again asking for all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I am still going through a really difficult and trying emotional time and I am going to need all the prayers and all the encouragement that I can get.Your prayers and your encouraging both help keep me going in this particular struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my determination and journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Please pray for me and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ