Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some much needed money that I had to withdraw and after that,I went and got some gas at a nearby gas station.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the money that I withdrew in a safe place.I then relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.The up and down roller coaster ride of emotions that I am constantly on can get pretty monotonous,tiresome and emotionally draining,which can lead to emotional exhaustion.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I tell him everything,including how I am feeling at that moment.I also ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives of this particular struggle and they both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed to walk around as I didn't want to masturbate the erection away.I only walked around a few minutes and when the erection softened,I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sexual fantasies and lusting of other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to the fantasies and lusting.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father all day as these terrible temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations as I didn't want to sin against him.I really want to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with the terrible SSA.I did feel better and also,much stronger as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.While I have been keeping up in prayer,I am also asking for prayers by everyone who continue to follow my blog and read my posts regularly.I am always in need of prayers as I do struggle heavily with SSA.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word of two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.I need encouraging words to continue in this fight and struggle against this terrible SSA.Your prayers and your encouraging words can work many wonders as the more that I get,the more it motivates me to continue my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with heavily.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and I will be attending that and also,to have lunch at a local kitchen.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ