Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual spirituality group and the group meeting was wonderful as usual.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after eating that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and I left the house again as I had to drop off some plastic shopping bags at a recycling bin at a local supermarket and also,I turned in some bottles and cans that had accumulated in the back seat of my car and a couple of trash bags filled with bottles and cans that I picked up on the way home yesterday that someone threw out.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the money that I received at the Where's George site and finished my personal PC work.After that,since my niece and her kids were over doing some work outside the house,I simply relaxed and enjoyed a little TV with them.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply put this struggle in the hands of my Heavenly Father.I ask him in the mane of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negatives of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also help keep me on a calm and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I headed for there.While heading there,my genitals started to soften and after I was finished,my genitals were now fully soft and I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation when sexual images of men clouded my mind after getting up and I manipulated my genitals while these were clouding my mind,but fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and after I was finished,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean by my Heavenly Father.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men and I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father all day as these temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I prayed for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations and I did feel much stronger after praying as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.I am again asking that all of you please keep up in prayer for me as I am still going through a difficult emotional time at the moment.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words as they both help keep me going.They also help strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ