Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I decided to take a drive to pick up someone that I knew years ago and wanted to hook up again.
I drove through the area that he said that he lived,but couldn't find his house number.I even tried to find an extension of the street that he claimed to live on,but couldn't.Disappointed,I headed back home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
A little later on,I decided to get some gas in my gas tank and I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch.After eating lunch,I decided to pay a visit to a friend that I haven't talked to in a while.After talking with him for a few minutes,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening new for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle as a burden and I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to get me through the negative affects of this particular struggle.They both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a much calmer plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up and I had to use the bathroom,so I headed for the bathroom and that made the erection start to soften.After I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men.They kept coming at me from all sides.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.Throughout the day,I asked for strength,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I didn't cease praying as these temptations kept coming at me.I felt much stronger after I finished praying each time.I knew and truly believed that my Heavenly Father heard my prayers and gave me what I asked for.Though I have done that throughout the day,I am again asking that all of you to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this very difficult emotional time.I need prayers by all of you.I also need encouraging words and comments by all of you.Your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement both do help in many ways.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They help strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also help strengthen my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Please pray for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I haven't made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ