Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I didn't have too much to do today.Before leaving the house,I registered some dollar bills at the Where's George site and after that,I finally got around to folding all of my laundry and filled the bag with dirty laundry to drop off at my niece's house.After all of that was done,I headed out to do what I had to do.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After that,I headed out to the drug store to pick up my prescription that I had filled today.After that,I went to visit with a friend to see how he was doing.After a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my clothes and into my home suit.I also popped a DVD in the DVD player and I watched it while relaxing.Before doing that,I put a couple more applications for work online.
After eating,I popped another DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that is part of the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,from the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult to handle.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I throw this struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him for strength to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.I ask him for this strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.They both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me much calmer and more at ease.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.This time,it was a throbbing one and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.I was also fighting sexual images of men clouding my mind at the same time.I immediately got out of bed and I headed for the bathroom and I hurried to get there.While I was on my way there,though it was slow going this time,my genitals were starting to soften.I did have to use the bathroom badly this time also and my genitals were fully soft after I was finished.I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.I am learning day after day that we men who struggle with SSA lead a very complicated and very difficult life.It is really difficult fighting the urges to masturbate to sexual images of men and also,to fight the urge of going out and seeking out men to act out sexually with,which is my main problem urge.I face these urges day in and day out.It is very difficult to fight and resist them.It is a lot easier to give into these temptations than it is to fight and resist them.Even when you give these urges over to the sovereign Lord and creator of all,our Heavenly Father,and to his son Jesus Christ,it is still difficult to fight and resist these urges.I am always at war with these urges to give into sexual sin.I am glad that my Heavenly Father is there to help me when I need him.I am also glad that his only begotten son Jesus Christ is also there to help him alongside.Why?Because at John 14:6 Jesus Christ explains that we can only to his father through him now and there is no other mediator between his father and we humans here on Earth.It is great that we SSA men who worship the Father through his son Jesus Christ don't have to struggle alone against this terrible monster known as SSA.SSA does nothing to enhance the lives of those,in particular men since I am a man,who struggle with it.The only thing that it does is lead men to live very destructive sexual lives by indulging in the terrible sexual sins that it tempts men to commit,which is the sexual activity between two members of the same gender,which is forbidden by our Heavenly Father through his sacred word,the Holy Bible.It is tough to fight and resist these terrible urges and without the help of our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ,fighting and resisting these terrible urges is impossible.Fellow blog followers and visitors,I ask that y'all please continue to pray for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me some positive words of encouragement.I get a lot of visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments of any kind.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.The power of prayer and positive verbal encouragement does help in more ways than one and the positive power and energy that they produce is immeasurable,which is why I keep asking for them.Prayers and positive verbal support both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help strengthen both my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have(note that I still continue to say "these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have" as I willfully and seriously refuse to let these particular desires define who I am and how I will act or be)that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ