Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work.
Today,I was hoping to go to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,but I had a terrible stomach-ache and after finishing my personal PC work in the morning,I laid down for a while after taking some Rolaids for it.
Fortunately,I was actually feeling better after my nap and I proceeded to get ready for the afternoon Halloween party.I got dressed and I headed for there.
The party was wonderful.After some fun there and when it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put my pajamas on and watched a few Halloween cartoons.I stayed home for the rest of the evening.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I throw this struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I also ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help me in keeping me sustained and much more at ease.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning by masturbating.Yes,I did.I really felt miserable after giving into this terrible temptation.After washing my hands,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for falling short.I asked him for forgiveness for my sins.I was really sorry for what I did.After I was finished praying,I did feel a lot better after doing so.I truly believed and knew that I was forgiven and that made me feel a little better.The thing about this SSA struggle is that it is a very difficult and complicated struggle.Personally,as far as I am concerned,I really hate that I struggle with this.I hate everything having to do with this struggle.I hate everything connected with this struggle.I hate these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this struggle.I also hate the addictions that are connected with this struggle.I also hate falling when temptation sets in.I also hate that the mainstream media makes Homosexuality an acceptable,natural and normal thing,when in reality,it isn't acceptable nor is it natural or even normal.I really want to heal from this terrible condition that I struggle with.I really do want to heal.I am again appealing to my fellow blog followers and fellow men who also struggle with SSA.I am appealing that all of you please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I have been really feeling at edge as of late and I really don't know why.Please pray for me.I also ask that all of you who follow and/or visit my blog to please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your continued positive verbal support desperately.After this current fall,I really need some prayer and positive verbal encouragement.Both your prayers and your continued positive verbal support both help keep me going in this fight and struggle.They also strengthen both my determination and motivation.The thing is that I don't want to feel like I am all alone here.When comments of any kind are not left,I feel alone.I get many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please pray for me and also,don't be afraid to leave any positive verbal encouragement.I need both of these desperately.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.I also thank my Heavenly Father for his precious gift of forgiveness.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ