Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning,though I did oversleep a little,and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had only my usual 2 cups of coffee as I had no time to sit down and eat breakfast.I only overslept because I had a very difficult time trying to get to sleep last night.I got dressed real quickly and I headed over to the Men's Network meeting.I was running late today and I managed to make it there,though I was late.
The meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I saw that it was starting to rain.I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a sweatsuit and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I decided to lay down and take a nap because I was still feeling drowsy from last night as a result of my difficulty of trying to get to sleep last night.I slept for an hour and half and after my nap,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I decided to pop a movie into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I decided to watch a little bit of TV and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I am also still struggling with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside the BPD.Lately,I have been having the feelings of not knowing whether I have been coming or going.I have also been having some pretty scary and very terrible nightmares.I have been having bad dreams of me jumping off a bridge into water to drown myself and these nightmares have been waking me up out of a deep sleep constantly.These bad dreams have been happening to me pretty much and I really don't know why I have been having them.I have been tossing and turning whenever these terrible dreams have been coming.I wake up out of a deep sleep gasping.In reality,I have no plans to kill myself nor have I been thinking about killing myself.These dreams have been happening and it is the first time in four years that I have been having these sorts of terrible dreams.Four years ago,I had nightmares of hanging myself in a abandoned place out in the countryside.Now,they have me jumping off of a bridge into a body of water.I am hoping that these dreams stop soon.During the mid afternoon,I prayed to my Heavenly Father and I really talked about everything that has been happening.I also talked about my struggles with the terrible SSA that I have been struggling with for most of my life.I left nothing out.I poured my soul out to my Heavenly Father.I asked him for strength to help me endure through all of this negativity in regards to both my BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA struggles.I left nothing out and I kept up praying until I felt better.I felt more relieved and felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.I also asked for forgiveness of my sins that I have committed and asked for his help to help me through all of these terrible negative affects of my struggles with the psychiatric double whammy that I have and the SSA struggles that I have.I felt relieved and much more at ease.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.I also thank them both for listening to me and hearing me.I feel a little bit better and it does give me a pretty good feeling.
To all my fellow blog followers,I am again asking that all of you continue in praying for me.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that y'all who follow my blog and read my posts to please leave me some encouraging words.Don't be shy if you come to visit.I need both prayerful and positive and encouraging verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ