Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work.Today,since it was raining,I chose to stay home and take it easy for the day.It was raining throughout the day and I simply didn't feel like going out.
Since I stayed home,I chose to simply relax and catch up on some reading that I have been putting off.It was simply reading a few Holy Bible based publications and using my copy of the Holy Bible alongside what I was reading.After doing that,I watched a few DVD's and relaxed while watching them.Over the weekend,I managed to put a couple more job applications in and I am hoping for the best.I am also hoping that it will lead to a job somewhere down the line.
After eating,I decided to do a little bit more personal PC work and watch another DVD or two.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle against the symptoms of both BPD and Schizophrenia.This struggle never gets any easier.I am not saying that it gets worse by the day,but at times,it does get worse.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.It is a very difficult thing to struggle with and though I am in therapy and I do take medication,it still doesn't get any easier.It also doesn't make my SSA struggle any easier,either.The psychiatric double whammy that I have makes my SSA struggles even more difficult.I have to putt up with voices telling me to do things and the voices can get quite monotonous.At times,struggling with both of these things can be emotionally draining and exhausting.At times,I wish that I didn't have to struggle with any of these things,especially SSA,which is very difficult to struggle with in and of itself.The SSA struggle is as much a rocky road as the struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia is.Again,it never gets any easier.I face temptation to act out on the unnatural desires that I have day in and day out.The temptations can be very overwhelming at times.I am still working on being tough with myself in this regard.I have to show that I won the desires and not the desires owning me.I also have to show that I own my sexuality and not my sexuality owning me.I have to work on telling these temptations constantly that I own them and they don't own me.I am working on trying making my body my slave and not me being a slave to my body.I am again asking for all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please keep praying for me.I need your prayers desperately and often.I also need some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.It is just that when nobody comments in the comments section when visiting my blog,I feel all alone when I don't get any words of positive encouragement.Please leave me something encouraging and positive in the comments section as I really do need some positive verbal encouragement right now.Words of positive encouragement,when combined with prayers,are very very powerful and can help in many ways,such as boosting self-confidence and self-esteem and also assuring that those who struggle are not alone in their struggle.They also help keep both my motivation and determination strong.They also help keep me going.Thanks in advance to all of you for your positive verbal encouragement and your continued prayers.Thanks also to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ