Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.I first went over to a friend's place to pick up something and after that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also popped A DVD in the player and I watched it.I also managed to give my visiting father a call and talked with him for a while.
After eating,I went to visit with my father for a short spell and after spending some time with him,I went back home to get ready to retire for the evening.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the symptoms of Schizophrenia.I have a psychiatric double whammy that is very difficult to deal and struggle with on a daily basis.I am still in therapy and taking my medication as directed for this particular struggle,but at times,despite my being pro-active in this,the struggle can be very overwhelming at times and can be very difficult to endure.If having this psychiatric double whammy wasn't bad enough,I also struggle with SSA,which can be also be very difficult to struggle with and endure.My psychiatric problems can contribute to the difficulty of my SSA struggle at times.I am always tempted to act out in many ways,such as fantasies,lusting and even the biggest temptation,which is going out to seek other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them.When that latter temptation happens,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than feed it.I have to continually keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have will never give me the fulfillment that I need to benefit me.I have to continually keep in mind that my needs are emotional in nature and not sexual.I need to have them fulfilled in authentic ways rather than indulging in meaningless sinful sexual activity that won't give me any kind of positive fulfillment.I was tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning when an erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,but it didn't last very long.I turned another way in bed and the erection softened within less than a couple of minutes and I fell fast asleep again.Today,though I wasn't out very long,I really didn't have too much problems with the SSA.Though I was tempted a little throughout the day,I just stayed busy and that kept my mind off of the unnatural sexual desires and any sexual thoughts.Though I did escape today,I know that tomorrow is another day.I am again asking that y'all who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some words of positive encouragement in the comments section.I need both of these things daily and desperately to keep me self-confidence and self-esteem intact.They both also help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Please do both of things for me as I really need them.I will also keep praying as well.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ