Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had some things planned.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up some much needed food and groceries.After that,I paid a few bills and went to another local supermarket to pick up a couple more things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I headed back out tonight to attend a meeting at a local church,which is a Holy Bible based addictions group where people can talk about things without being judged and/or negatively criticized by others.It was my first meeting and I headed there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting was wonderful.I got a lot out of it.I will be going to the next meeting next Monday evening.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my night clothes and I relaxed.I also watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player until I was sleepy.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD,it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride and the symptoms of schizophrenia.I deal and struggle with these things on a daily basis and it never gets any easier.It gets tougher and tougher by the day.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also never know how the hallucinatory effects of the schizophrenic tendencies that I have will come around with noises and voices that only I can hear and nobody else hears.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier.I am always hearing voices in my head telling me to seek out other men and indulge in sinful sexual activity with them.I get tempted all the time to indulge in some form of sinful sexual activity that is connected with the SSA struggle and condition.If it isn't the temptation watch pornography of all kinds and mess with my private parts while watching that.It could be to simply mess with my private parts and imagine myself in sinful sexual activity with other men,which is associated with lust and fantasies.It also could be to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home.The thing that I keep seeing each and every day is that my life is always in danger as a result of my struggles with SSA.Why?The sinful sexual lifestyle of any man active in that sinful lifestyle is a life of danger,destruction and a road to nowhere.The only thing that any man active in that sinful lifestyle has to look forward to is never ending sexual promiscuity that can lead to AIDS later on in life,which kills people that it infects because AIDS is still currently incurable.The SSA struggle,coupled with the psychiatric double whammy that I have,can really be stressful and can be energy draining.It can wear a person out psychologically and the effects can cause psychological drowsiness.Fellow blog followers and readers,I am again asking for prayers from all of you as I am always in constant need of prayers.I am also asking that y'all who follow and read my blog to please continue leaving me some positive encouraging words in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need some positive verbal encouragement alongside your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ