Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today,
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply ran a few errands and I also paid a visit to a friend's place and spent a few minutes with him.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local McDonald's to have a couple of sandwiches.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some more personal PC work.I also listened to a little bit of music while doing that.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with BPD and Schizophrenia.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one minute to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.My SSA struggles are also a lot more difficult as a result of this psychiatric double whammy that I have.Aside from the mood fluctuations and the hallucinatory affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.My SSA struggles are far more difficult with this because I hear things and/or voices that nobody else hears.I am still attending my therapy sessions and continuing to regularly take my medication as directed.Today,I almost fell again into sin as I was tempted to look up Homosexual themed porn online and also,look at sexual images of men online as well.I had to really fight and resist these urges to look at these things.The thing is if I give into the temptation to view and look at these things,I am feeding the urges and acting out on them by doing this.I struggle day after day with this terrible SSA and it can be emotionally draining at times.There are also times that I wish that I didn't struggle with this terrible SSA.There are also times that I get tired of struggling with this terrible SSA.I really do want to heal from this SSA and I want to feel like a man.I also want to be the man that my Heavenly Father intended me to be.The thing about this is that I do feel all alone in this struggle,though I know that I am not alone as I know that there are other men who struggle with SSA as well.I am simply talking about feeling alone in the territory that I live because there isn't too much for a man like me to get involved with.I mean,I just started with an addiction conquering support group and I am hoping that in time,I can conquer my addictions to genital manipulation,masturbation and pornography.I am going to try and make my resolve to start praying to my Heavenly Father a lot more.Most of the time,I have been praying to ask to be forgiven when I fall into temptation.I want to be break free from these terrible addictions that I have as they are starting to have a hold on me once again.I need to start making it my resolve to pray more and more.I will continue going to church,going to my study groups and also,continue attending the conquering addictions support group.I also have an appointment with the priest that I talked to a month ago and I will continue those as well.But again,I have to make it my resolve to start praying regularly as I now know that I have been neglecting to do that pretty much.I am also again asking that y'all who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please keep on praying for me and also,please leave me some positive encouraging words in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement so I won't feel alone in this struggle.Please fellow followers and fellow brothers who also struggle with SSA,I need both your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement desperately.They both help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ