Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and had a light lunch afterwards.I was home for much of the day as a result of rainy weather that was happening for much of the day today.Later on,I went out to run a small errand to go to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to relax for a while and I did some more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I did manage to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation looking at a couple of porn videos online.Yes,I admit it.I gave into watching pornography.For much of the day,my conscience was really getting on me for watching these videos and later on,after my small errand was finished,I went into my room and I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him by giving into the temptation to watch porn online and I left nothing out.I prayed and I prayed.I asked for my Heavenly Father's mercy while praying and I also asked that he help me to break free from both the sexual sins,but also,the sin of getting caught up in anger as I was angry with myself for watching the pornography in the first place.I prayed and I prayed.I also ordered Satan and his minions to hit the road and get out of here and to take their baggage with them.I shouted that out to them while praying and it felt good to do that.I also asked that my Heavenly Father also help me in overcoming and healing from SSA as I really want to overcome and heal from this terrible emotional condition.I also asked that he help me to not only break free,but to also stay free from fantasizing and lusting after other men and to also help me to break free and to stay free from manipulating my genitals to these unwholesome images.While praying,my eyes were starting to tear as a result.When I was finished praying,I felt better and felt that a huge gigantic weight had been lifted off of me.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me and please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need some positive verbal support alongside the prayerful support.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both prayers and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep both my determination to overcome and motivation to heal stronger.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of talking with someone on the phone in hoping to get some help and support for my SSA struggles,I haven't got much planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ