Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.I had a rough time waking up as I woke up with terrible leg cramp pain.I also had a tough time walking around the house as I felt pain every time that I walked.
I did my personal PC work quickly and when that was done,I decided to take a drive out to a Salvation Army thrift store in the next county.
On the way there,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas.After that,I stopped by a friend's pizzeria to see if he was in,which he wasn't and after having a slice of pizza and a bottle of water,I headed back out and stopped at a nearby Super Wal-Mart and picked up a can of soup and a small hero sandwich for dinner.I also picked up a couple of leg cramp homeopathic medication.After paying for these things,I headed to the thrift store and when I got there,I looked through the CD's to see if there were any Christian music CD's and there were quite a few that I bought.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I prepared my evening meal and while I was doing that,I also washed my breakfast dishes.When my soup was done,I put some mustard on my sandwich and I ate.After I was finished,I did more personal PC work.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation twice during the morning after arising.On both occurrences,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind causing me to fantasize and lust after the images of men that were clouding my mind.I felt miserable on both of these occurrences and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ for my giving into these terrible temptations and I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin.On the second prayer of forgiveness,I had to really pour out my soul and asked my Heavenly Father to not only forgive me but to also help me.I pleaded for him to help me because I don't want to keep giving into the same old things and ask to be forgiven constantly.I have to show my Heavenly Father that I am serious about wanting to heal and wanting to overcome SSA.I really am and I need to really start to get tough with myself.I have to avoid falling into the trap of habitually sinning and going to my Heavenly Father for forgiveness.I have to make it a habit of going to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asking for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptation.I have to make a habit of that.I can't be enslaved to the unnatural desires that I have nor be enslaved to my gender identity and worship my Heavenly Father.It has to be one thing or the other.Fellow blog followers and readers,I really need your prayers right now.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both your prayerful and positive verbal support right now as I am going through a very difficult emotional time right now.I need your support desperately.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please leave me positive verbal support in the comments section.Please support me.I need your support right now.Your support helps keep me going.It also reassures and reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.It also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ