Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit to head for church this morning to attend both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the morning worship service afterwards.I was looking forward to both of these with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
Both the class and the service were wonderful.I got a lot out of both of these things.After some wonderful fellowship after the service,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I had a quick lunch and after that,I did my personal PC work.
After I was done with my PC work,I headed out to the local Big Lots to check out what they had on sale.I didn't buy much and after leaving,I headed over to the nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up something.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation last night by masturbating.It is the second consecutive fall for me in the past two days.I felt really bad after the fall as I know that masturbation will never give me what I want,which is to connect with my lost maleness.I want to connect to that,but masturbation will only keep me as far away from it as not having any men to confide,trust,bond and connect with on a healthy and authentic manner.I want to do that.I also want to stop this senseless masturbation habit.Masturbation is dirty,unclean and won't give me the fulfillment or satisfaction that I want and also need.Again,I am open to any suggestions or advice.
Tomorrow,I have a couple of groups that I must attend.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
3 comments:
Hi FJ.
I posted those comments on your Friday blog. Sorry that the 2nd is a repeat of the 1st; I accidentally submitted it twice.
I'm glad you found my words encouraging. Actually, I'm not a man, but a female who does extensive research into SSA, GID, homosexuality in general & the glbt lobby & its effect on glbt ppl.
ZIppcast is having some problems, which is why you had trouble adding it. You can go to the site & read it though. If you want to contact me, go to Youtube, sign in/log in & go to my profile (it's in my first post on Friday).
I found the link to the Diary of an Ex-gay man:
http://pfox.org/diary_exgay_man.html
Hi FJ,
Me again. I've come across quite a few men & women who are in the process of healing their SSA & understanding their feelings & working toward their goals.
Many ppl never get this chance because the glbt lobby lies to them about change. NARTH has many stories of reparative success, I've read them.
It's good that you put your thoughts down everyday; that must be tedious, but helpful.
It's useful to remember your goals & keep optimistic. It must be difficult but you seem so focused so I'm certain you are succeeding.
It's also smart that you're recognizing advances you've made.
Peace
By the way, what is the name of your YouTube channel. I tried to look for it via your site and it isn't on there. What is the name of your YouTube channel? Thanks for any answers.
Thanks again for your kind words. They are appreciated. Thanks again.
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