Happy Easter or Resurrection Sunday.
Tonight,my road to recovery presses onward,though the road is still rough and rocky.I had a very good and eventful Easter holiday today.
Today,I woke up in the wee early morning hours and I bathed.After my bath,I got dressed up to go to church.It was Easter morning and there was a lot at the church that was going on and I wanted to have a share in the festivities.
The first thing today was an Easter breakfast and the breakfast was wonderful.There was some wonderful fellowship with everyone and we had some laughs and some wonderful feelings of love in the air.After the breakfast was over,I hung out at the church to wait for the worship service to begin.There was still some time to have a lot more fellowship as I had some wonderful talks with some of the members as we waited for the time that the worship service was to begin.Once the time came,we all started to enter the chapel for the service and as usual,I was looking forward to the worship service with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The Easter Sunday worship service was wonderful.I got quite a bit out of it.I had some more wonderful fellowship with the members again and after all of that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things that were needed for the home for the dinner we were going to have.After paying for those,I headed over to a gas station to get some gas into my gas tank.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes and I did my personal PC work before anything else.After that was over,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.I also registered a whole bunch of bills at the Where's George site.Overall,a very good and very eventful Easter holiday.
As someone in recovery,I know that the recovery from anything,including mental illness,is going to be very difficult.I know that all too well.I have been struggling with bipolar depression all of my life and I also struggle with the schizophrenic tendencies that I also have alongside the bipolar depression.It is a real tough and rough struggle when I have to put with my emotions going up one day and them going going down the next.The only thing that I continue to do is that I am still attending my therapy session when I have them and that I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am still feeling hopeful and optimistic that my recovery will start improving soon.I do want to feel better and I am determined to feel better.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.I was tempted to masturbate it away,but instead of giving into the temptation,I fought and resisted the temptation by tossing and turning aggressively until the erection died down and my genitals were soft again.Though I escaped this episode,I know that I will be tempted again.It is not that I am waiting for it to happen,which I am not.I am just keeping in mind that it will happen again when least expected.I still have to keep in mind that masturbation will never get me what I really need and want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation of my gender identity.Masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is what I am trying to overcome and escape from.I don't want to act out by masturbating nor do I want to act out in other ways.I am still open to any suggestions or advice on how I can continue to resist the temptations when they come.
Tomorrow,I have a group that I need to attend.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ