Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward,though still a rocky road.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I got dressed up in a suit to head over to the church for the morning study class and the worship service afterwards.As usual,I look forward to attending each Sunday as I am always looking forward to worshiping with my fellow church brothers and sisters.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful as I got a lot out of them both.After some fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a small yard sale and bought several record albums.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a pair of sweatpants.I also did my personal PC work after that.
After my PC work was done,I got all of my dirty clothes ready to go to the laundromat to get them clean.It took me a few minutes,but I got them all packed and I headed for the laundromat.
On the way,I stopped at a local pizzeria to pick up a few pizza slices for lunch.After that,I stopped at a local 7-Eleven to pick up a small bottle of cold milk.After paying for it,I headed straight for the laundromat.
When I got to the laundromat,I immediately found a washer to put my dirty underwear in and I also put some color clothes in a separate washer.I them waited for a while for them to get clean.
After they were washed,I popped all of the clothes in a few dryers to get dried up.After that was done,I folded everything up and bagged it.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I sorted out all of my laundry and I relaxed for a while after doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work and some recommended Holy Bible reading.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
My recovery continues despite being on a rocky road.Each and every day,I am putting up with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that I am always on.I don't know when I will be up or when I will be down.I just can't predict ahead of time how my mood will be.One day,I can be up and feeling good,but the next day,I can be down and feeling not so good.It is an endless up and down cycle.Aside from the BPD,I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside the BPD and that makes it even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am also taking my medication as directed.I am still holding onto the hope that my recovery will start improving in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate when I was awakened by morning erections as two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours.They were both throbbing ones.I really had to fight the temptation to masturbate these erections away.With the first erection,I simply got up to use the bathroom as I had to get up and use it anyway at that time.After that,I simply went back to sleep.With the second one,I had to get up for church anyway,so I simply went to the bathroom to not only use it but also to put bath water in to clean up for church.Though I escaped these two episodes,I have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out by masturbating can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to continually keep fighting this temptation and also,I am still fighting to resist other temptations,such as the temptation to seek other men out for the purpose of acting out sexually with them or the temptation to fantasize with other men alongside the temptation to masturbate to these or whenever an erection happens.Though I am putting a little word of advice shared with me to practice,I am still open to any more advice or suggestions as to how I can continually resist any temptation to act out in any way,shape or form.Thanks in advance for any suggestions.
Tomorrow,I have an online recovery resources groups that I need to attend.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ