Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed quickly.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed over to the church for the morning's worship service and the Holy Bible study class before the service.I am always looking forward to church every Sunday since I started going back in September of last year.I headed over there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful as always.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas and after paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a pair of sweatpants.I had a quick lunch and after eating that,I did my personal PC work and despite a minor difficulty with the Yahoo service,I managed to get it all done.After that was done,I got dressed in casual clothes because I had to do some shopping for myself.I headed over to the local K-Mart to do that.After that was done,I headed back home.
When I got home,I put everything away and relaxed.I also watched a DVD that I put into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.I also managed to do some recommended Holy Bible reading as well.Overall,a very good and eventful day.For me,going to church always makes the day eventful.
My recovery continues unabated and since I started to really communicate with God,I have been feeling better.I haven't really been on any continuous emotional roller coaster rides as of late.Still,I do have to put up and struggle with BPD no matter what as that could change any day or any minute.I also still have schizophrenic tendencies and that is probably why I have had those repeated impure thoughts and/or temptations happening constantly.Again,I have been leaning more on God now and it has been improving little by little.I realized the hard way that I was relying more on my own strength and less or nil on God and that is why I kept failing.Now,with me relying on God more,I have been feeling pretty good and still hanging in there.I still get tempted,but it doesn't overwhelm me like it has in the past several months.I have now learned that those who rely on God through his son Jesus Christ more will get results and will feel stronger than those who rely on their own strength.I am glad that I had that talk with the Christian counselor as that was not only a much needed wake up call,but also a much needed slap in the face.Thanks to God and his son Jesus Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I did get yet another wee early morning hour erection and yes,it did wake me out of a deep sleep.Yes,I was also tempted to masturbate that erection away,but I stayed strong and fought to resist that temptation.I simply got up to use the bathroom and while walking there,the erection died down and after using the bathroom,I simply went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I know that temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It always seems to come back stronger each and every time that it hits.The more resistance,the more stronger the temptation will be.Still,all I also need to do is to simply rely on God and his his son Jesus Christ for strength.I will feel much stronger the more that I rely on them.I will never rely strictly on my own strength as those who do will always fail and fall.Those who rely on God and his son Jesus Christ will not only feel stronger, but will gain more strength each and every time that any temptations or burdens are upon anyone.Again,I am making it my resolution to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ for strength and will continue to throw my burdens and/or temptations on him and let God handle them through his son Jesus Christ.Again,I will always be grateful to that Christian counselor for pointing out to me that only God can make anyone stronger and not anyone themselves personally.Again,Thank God through his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow,I have an improving self esteem group that I must attend.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ