Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I immediately dressed up in a suit and headed to the church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with the people,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had lunch and after lunch,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church every Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still enduring the symptoms of BPD and the accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is never an easy thing to deal with.My moods and/or emotions can be up one day or one minute and I am feeling good or they can be down the next day or minute and I am feeling not so good.It's bad enough that I struggle with BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my daily BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the ups and downs emotionally,I also have to put up with hearing things that others,other than me,can't hear.While the struggles with mental illness are difficult,I still rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw everything on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I do feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in my struggles with the double whammy that I have as far as mental illness goes.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning when I,while still tired and sleepy,manipulated my genitals and wound up ejaculating.After this,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him as what I did was sinful.It was also impure and unclean.After that,I did feel pretty good and truly believed that I was forgiven.Throughout the day,I was still tempted to act out in many ways,but every time that the temptation hit,I threw it on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep me strong to fight and resist the temptations.I always felt better when I did that.My struggles with these unnatural desires that I have are very difficult to deal with and at times,the desire to act out on them can be very overwhelming.I simply keep talking to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and keep asking for strength to help me fight and resist these temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and to keep me going in my fight to resist them.I will have to keep on doing that so I can be strong to fight and resist.I am also continuing to ask for prayers from everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts and also,I would appreciate some words of encouragement in the comments section of my blog as both your prayers and your words of encouragement help keep me going in my fight against these terrible unnatural desires that I have.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a building and improving self esteem group that I must attend.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ