Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up quickly to head for church for an outdoor service and brunch afterwards.
The outdoor service was wonderful.The brunch afterwards was also wonderful as I had some wonderful fellowship with many of my fellow worshipers.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and into a pair of lounge pants.I did my personal PC work and after I was finished with that,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.I also did a little bit of reading as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church each Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing with the symptoms and the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD on a daily basis.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I talk often about my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles with my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives and rigamarole of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I have and they both help in keeping me sustained and a little more at ease.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed as I had to use the bathroom and that made the erection start to soften.My genitals were fully soft once I was finished in the bathroom and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out with lustful images of men and to fantasize with these lustful images.I also had the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I also had lust burning inside of me.It was really terrible and I was stuck in the middle as to what to do.I also had the temptation to look up pornography online.I got away from the computer and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations and also,for strength to fight and resist the burning lust that was within me.I asked my Heavenly Father to help keep me strong and to help me fight and resist all of these things.I kept up in prayer until the temptations and the lust had dissipated.I felt better after doing that and I also felt more at ease and better yet,I felt much stronger after praying to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I truly believed that they heard me and I received what I needed from my Heavenly Father and he gave me all that I asked for and needed in the name of his son Christ Jesus.While I have been keeping up in prayer,I am also asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,I ask that none of you who follow my blog be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Don't be shy and afraid to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Please leave me something encouraging in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue the fight against this terrible SSA that I struggle with and also,to motivate and inspire me to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA that I struggle with and also,to also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ