Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good start today,but fell apart in the mid afternoon.
The day started out promising.I got up in the early to mid morning and myself my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and after I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed real quickly and I headed for the Men's Network meeting,which would be the last until this coming September.The meeting was wonderful and after it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the public library to check up on some stuff in my e-mail and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I headed back into the house and did my personal PC work and even communicated with a few friends over on Facebook and even added a few more today.After that,I did some straightening up in my living room to make some room by sorting out some of my record albums.I am still working on it as I want the room to be a bit neater.After doing some of that work,I decided to head out to a charity spaghetti at the church where the Celebrate Recovery groups are held,but that is when things took a turn for the worse for me.
The problem started when I gently inserted the screwdriver into the hole on the right of my car's shifter,but the plastic broke and I have no way of shifting my car.This really disappointed me and I had to stay home whether I wanted to or not.I called my niece and explained the problem and she said that she will help me by giving me a ride to church tomorrow and after hanging up with her,I called the repair garage and left a message and I am hoping that something can be done that won't be too much for the garage to do.Now,at this moment,I have no car and it really breaks my heart.I do have a ride to church tomorrow and I am hoping to have rides in the subsequent weeks.I am hoping that I can get a ride to my Thursday evening Bible study group.
Since the situation with my car made it impossible for me to go anywhere,I heated up something that I had in the oven and I ate it.I was hungry and I am hoping that the situation with my car gets resolved soon.After finishing,I did some more personal PC work and I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a day with mixed emotions despite such a promising start to the day.I also managed to get soem recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I started out having no problems,but when the thing happened with my car,I was feeling disappointed and frustrated.I think that Satan is doing this to me to make me curse my Heavenly Father and give up what I am trying to accomplish and do in regards to my struggles.But,I refuse to do that and I actually went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I talked about it.I told him everything and I asked him to help get me through this.I also said to him that I was hoping that it won't be as bad as it looks.I am simply hoping for the best and expecting the worst.In regards to my struggles with SSA,I know that with this unfortunate turn of events,I am going to be tempted to act out by fantasizing and lusting.But,I have to prove that I am stronger that the unnatural sexual desires that I have,although it means going to my Heavenly Father in prayer to ask for the strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I need to show the desires that they don't own me and that I won't let them define who I am.I also won't let them dictate to me how I will be or act.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers as I am going to need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section as I am also going to need all the positive verbal support that I can get.I need some support right now as this difficult emotional time is getting worse by this unfortunate incident that is happening in regards to my car.I need all the support that I can get because I really need to stay afloat and not let the desires that I have own me nor take control of me.I need to be reaffirmed and reassured that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please don't forget to leave some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ